HOW PICKING A FIGHT WITH YOUR SPOUSE CAN ACTUALLY BE BENEFICIAL

I had this conversation with Rob a number of weeks back.  Yesterday, out of the clear blue, I had felt completely and utterly compelled to get it out on paper.  Or in this instance, get it out on paper, and then transfer it from paper to keyboard.

How many of you are like me, and prefer the act of physically writing over typing?

Anyways, for starters, I think that it is appropriate that I start off by mentioning to y’all, that I am the 👑 of similes and metaphors.  I’m tellin’ ya, I really, really am.

I am going to be super blunt y’all.  The military lifestyle sometimes just ain’t easy.  I do not care how optimistic you are, we all experience weak moments, where we can literally pick apart and list all of the “negatives” of a situation in a half a second flat.  It is just human nature, especially for us gals!

For those of you who do not know, my husband, Rob, is in the midst of his pilot training for the United States Air Force.  So although this is singlehandedly the longest that I have had him consistently home for, realistically we spend most of our days apart.  I however will add, even though he is gone for a majority of each day, I am pretty dang blessed to have him home period.

Anyways, back to my story.  So as many of you can imagine (and I’m sure most of you experience), the stress begins to pile up.  It is inevitable.  A few loads of laundry (thank you Lord for providing me with the clothes necessary to clothe me and my family), a high-energy toddler (thank you Lord for this lil’ mini-me blessing of mine), and the everyday stressors of life will do that to ya.  Y’all get it.

So a few weeks back, in true me fashion, I greeted my husband at the door with a little comin’ to Jesus talk.  You know, those super honest and frank, often unpleasant convos… Especially the ones that you present to your husband, fiancé, boyfriend with, the second that they walk through the door after a long days of work.

I had been frustrated with never getting a break, a true moment to myself to unwind and recharge. In hindsight, it truly wasn’t his fault.  But because I couldn’t take my frustrations out on the inanimate “situation” that was the root of my frustrations, my husband inevitably became my target.  If you’re reading this babe, I am sorry again!

Although I will mention, that this talk certainly brewed for a reason, as it had left me inspired and had offered me a fresh, more positive perspective on life.

To keep it simple y’all, I had equated everything in life to a garden.  Yes, you heard me right, a garden.

I had explained to him (and to myself, because honestly my brain truly has a mind of its own – It literally shocks me when I hear what it is saying out loud all the dang time), that in order for a garden to flourish it must be consistently attended to. Consistency.  Sure gardens require love, nourishment, and care.  But none of that is good enough without ensuring that our love, nourishment, and care is consistently provided.  You can’t just water your garden with buckets and buckets of water one day, and then go back a week later when you’re feeling up to it, to re-water and give yo’ garden some love.  No.  Chances are, your plants were drowned by the over saturation and since dehydration from the days and days without water.  Loving our garden consistently requires taking the effort and making the time to water our garden and care for it daily.  Not just when we feel like it.  Each of us is a garden.  Our life is a garden.  Each task we take on (i.e., our careers, for small business owners, our businesses).  We/it/they require love, nourishment, and care.  In order to sustain balance, consistency is required in its most basic form.  Inconsistency and neglect can be damaging.

And even if we do all of the right things, and always are consistent, that sista ho is not going to create an impermeable force field to prevent bugs and animals from intruding.  No, they will still get in.  They will still cause us headaches, and troubles, and unpleasant moments.  It is the same with life.  Just because we may be doing all of the right things, that doesn’t mean that we are never going to have to cross rocky waters.  That are business successes will never take a dip.  That we will never get laid off.

We may not have perfection or constant stability, but we have God, and that completely supersedes perfection.

I guess, my point in sharing this will y’all, is to highlight two things:

  1. The root of life and human nature is really quite simple.  As complex as you or I may sometimes think humans, human nature, and life is, it really isn’t.  It is a dang garden!
  2. Cash step aside. (Just kidding!)  “Consistency is King.”

Oh!  And for all you ladies reading this, make sure to tell your spouses tonight that your on/off nagging and your every so often coming to Jesus talks, yeah those all “happen for a reason” and (you can tell em’) are from time to time the root of your inspiration and freshened perspective on life.  See men – We really do have a reason for everything we do *cue wink face.*

So with that gals, go forward and have a sparklin’ weekend, and happy mama’s day to all you mama’s out there.  Y’all are so loved and appreciated.

Much love –

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