Mom Guilt

Mom Guilt

Feeling guilty for feeling frustrated and overwhelmed? Yep. Right there with ya mama.

Little Miss Brooklyn Meadow has been havin’ herself a dang day. She threw me for a curveball with her morning nap. Just when I thought (with good reason I might add) that she was getting herself into a napping routine, she decided to switch things up on me. 10:30 nap time turned into 1:30, mom I’m too tired to eat lunch, nap time. Meal times have turned into food fights. The good ol’ toddler days as most of you seasoned mamas like to call it, yes, they most certainly are upon us.

Today I have felt overwhelmed more times than I felt calm and at peace.

And now, while I sit out here with my beautiful baby while she plays in her kiddie pool on this beautiful 90° Oklahoma day, I cannot help but feel like a really, really guilty #blessedmama.

I cannot help but feel upset with myself for feeling frustrated and overwhelmed. Is it because I am overtired? Possibly. Maybe it is because I have not had a free moment to myself in literal weeks because Rob has been so busy with work? That too is a very good possibility.

So then I just have to ask, why, why as mamas are we always so hard on ourselves? I don’t care if you are a stay-at-home mama or a working mama or a working from home, stay-at-home mama. . . We are all on the same struggle bus. #MOMLIFE. Our job, as a mama, is darn tough. We have a lot on our plates! Between keeping the tiny humans alive and taking care of our spouses, our fur babies, our homes, etc., our plates are legitmentally overflowing. Like, we are almost at (needing a) second plate status.

I then ask myself, why, why can’t we look at all of the good we put out into the world, the good that we (more often than not) show our tiny humans on the daily? Why is it, that we are always seemingly striving for perfection? Plain ol’ simple, why can’t we give ourselves a darn break?

And I am sure if y’all have read to this point you’re looking for the golden answer. The end all, be all answer to solve this widespread problem that we are all facing (#momprobs). And I hate to break it to you mamas, but I really don’t have the answer. . . If you’d like, I can link the dozens and dozens of blogs and articles that I have come across in my journey of solving what seems like a “me” problem. However, throughout my search, I was disappointed in my ability to find the proverbial golden ticket.

But here is what I have found to help me (and it may just help y’all too):

First off, remind yourself that you’re a great, not just a good parent, a great one. Repeat after me: “I am a great parent!” I dare you to say this a thousand of times until you are blue in the face! If you didn’t give a damn, you wouldn’t be! Feeling frustrated is normal. Think about all of your non-mom-ing experiences throughout the day that leave you frustrated as all heck. It’s so N O R M A L.

Second, just breathe. Breathe mama, breathe. This too shall pass. You’re human, it is normal to experience overwhelming and frustrating feelings. Be thankful that you aren’t a dang robot who doesn’t experience any sort of emotion whatsoever.

Third, what I have found to help combat my feelings that are overwhelming and frustrating in nature, is to just laugh. Literally, laugh it off. You know what is frustrating you more than anything? Your dang laundry list of to-do’s. Well guess what, they can freakin’ wait! Your laundry, yep, that can get done tomorrow. The work that you have been trying to get to all day? The heck with it. Once your kiddos eventually get down for a nap, or to sleep at the end of the day, get er’ done mama. . . They don’t call us “MOM” for nothing (“MOM” upside down is “WOW” – Curtesy my mama, thank ya girly!). I promise you, once you mentally chuck your laundry list, your current tornado of a situation will either completely take a turn for the better, if not at least, lessen from an F6 (this is literally movie-grade tornado) to a F0 (we Okie’s experience this every other day when we face a storm) real quick.

Lastly mamas, just let it go. Ya heard me right. Let. It. Go. Move it along, and enjoy every precious second you have with your babes. Make each consequent second better than the last. Join mama groups, whether they be in person or virtual – Connect with other mamas, and do what we gals do best, chat it up. You’ll really start to see that you aren’t alone!

And if all else fails, just remember: “There ain’t no hood like motherhood,” and y’all are oh so blessed to be apart of it.

Sweet dreams loves!

Much love –

Mom Culture

Ultimately this is a piece centered on being yourself, and not changing it for a dang thing.

Little Miss Brooklyn Meadow has officially gone down for her afternoon nap, following a long morning filled with grocery shopping, errands, and a super cute pre-Easter egg hunt.

I, on the other hand, am staring at the piles of clean clothes that require folding and putting away, as well as, sitting here thinking of the shower that I desperately need to take, the eye soak that I really need to fit in…

BUT –

I just could not help myself. Need. to. write.

So let’s do it. Let’s talk about “mom culture.”

What exactly is it?

I am starting to realize, that whatever it is, I just don’t fit in to it. I just simply do not fit in to the “modern mama culture.”

If I had to guess, it may stem from my lack of always wanting to “fit in.” Truth be told, I like being different. Throughout my life (and presently), I never wanted to be like everyone else. I just want to be myself, the beautiful, perfectly imperfect human that God had designed me to be. Why fit into the mold created by a group or culture? Why change who you are to fit a group or cultures standards?

You see, (in my opinion) I am a super Christian gal. I have a whole lotta’ faith. I attend weekly worship. I am kind and light-hearted to everyone I meet. I try my best every dang day to live a grace-filled life. Harboring a heart of grace, a mind of grace, and a mouth of grace.

That is why, and this is certainly not always the case, when I am surrounded by a group of mama’s with their noses way up, with obviously something to prove, I want to do nothing more than run, rather than simmering in the negativity. The up/down glances, the forced half-smiles, the “I’m better than you” stares, and (my favorite) the “My kid did this, and that” small talk.

But I stay. Not only for the sake of my daughter and for the sake of her building future friendships, but I stay, because I hope that my soft heart and “real” exterior will wear on theirs. I hope that my no b.s. real talk will make them see the light.

Because after all mamas, aren’t we all in this together?

I sure hope that y’all take my words positively, realizing that they are coming from the best possible place. I am simply trying to shed light. To show y’all (that whether you are a mama or not) you don’t need to fit in. Be different, most importantly, be yourself. If a certain group/culture fits you, then you do you! But, don’t feel obligated.

Find yourself. Express yourself. Love yourself. Surround yourself with positive vibes, with love. Ultimately, do whatever serves you (and your L.O.’s of course).

Have a blessed day y’all!

XO, ACD♡🦋

Am I a Good Mom?

Am I a Good Mom?

Good afternoon pretties!

These are the moments that I will forever cherish.  Just casually n’ freely sitting with my daughter, reading to her endlessly. 

Is this my constant reality?  No.  Some days, when life gets the best of me, we, and by “we,” I mean she, watches educational T.V. clips, as I drown myself in the piles of never ending laundry and (at times) overwhelming amounts of housework.  THIS IS NORMAL.  Your fellow mama’s at your local church, they ain’t gon’ tell you that they have these types of days.  Do you blame them?  Would you brag about these types of days?

But these types of days, and the reading, light-hearted types of days, these are all apart of the cyclical nature of life. They are are normal.  You are normal.  This is natural.  So before you beat yourself up, and break yourself down for not being “mom of the year” compared to everyone else’s or Instagram’s standards, remember you are killin’ it mama.  You only have two hands.  Laundry must get done, and you are doing a beautiful thing for your child(ren), you are dressing them in clean clothes washed with love.  Those bills that you are paying, that need to be paid?  Without you being a responsible parent and paying your bills, your child(ren) wouldn’t have all that they have.  A roof over their head, food on the table, clean clothes on their back.  You get the point I am tryin’ to make y’all!

I promise you, speaking your reality and your truths is so incredibly therapeutic.  It is terrifying to speak up when no one else does, I for one get that completely.  But I promise you, that at the end of the day, you’ll feel SO much better.  AND, you will totally be the realest, most badass super mama in the room.  Who cares what those other judge-y mamas think?  That is their problem, not yours 💁🏻‍♀️

Take right now to start appreciating the real, dang good, mama that you are.  Because at the end of the day, mama or not, we are all perfectly imperfect. 

XO, 🦋

*P.S. loves: For more mama inspo’ & related content, be sure to follow me on Instagram @thecheekymidwesterner. Hope to see y’all there!