HOW PICKING A FIGHT WITH YOUR SPOUSE CAN ACTUALLY BE BENEFICIAL

I had this conversation with Rob a number of weeks back.  Yesterday, out of the clear blue, I had felt completely and utterly compelled to get it out on paper.  Or in this instance, get it out on paper, and then transfer it from paper to keyboard.

How many of you are like me, and prefer the act of physically writing over typing?

Anyways, for starters, I think that it is appropriate that I start off by mentioning to y’all, that I am the 👑 of similes and metaphors.  I’m tellin’ ya, I really, really am.

I am going to be super blunt y’all.  The military lifestyle sometimes just ain’t easy.  I do not care how optimistic you are, we all experience weak moments, where we can literally pick apart and list all of the “negatives” of a situation in a half a second flat.  It is just human nature, especially for us gals!

For those of you who do not know, my husband, Rob, is in the midst of his pilot training for the United States Air Force.  So although this is singlehandedly the longest that I have had him consistently home for, realistically we spend most of our days apart.  I however will add, even though he is gone for a majority of each day, I am pretty dang blessed to have him home period.

Anyways, back to my story.  So as many of you can imagine (and I’m sure most of you experience), the stress begins to pile up.  It is inevitable.  A few loads of laundry (thank you Lord for providing me with the clothes necessary to clothe me and my family), a high-energy toddler (thank you Lord for this lil’ mini-me blessing of mine), and the everyday stressors of life will do that to ya.  Y’all get it.

So a few weeks back, in true me fashion, I greeted my husband at the door with a little comin’ to Jesus talk.  You know, those super honest and frank, often unpleasant convos… Especially the ones that you present to your husband, fiancé, boyfriend with, the second that they walk through the door after a long days of work.

I had been frustrated with never getting a break, a true moment to myself to unwind and recharge. In hindsight, it truly wasn’t his fault.  But because I couldn’t take my frustrations out on the inanimate “situation” that was the root of my frustrations, my husband inevitably became my target.  If you’re reading this babe, I am sorry again!

Although I will mention, that this talk certainly brewed for a reason, as it had left me inspired and had offered me a fresh, more positive perspective on life.

To keep it simple y’all, I had equated everything in life to a garden.  Yes, you heard me right, a garden.

I had explained to him (and to myself, because honestly my brain truly has a mind of its own – It literally shocks me when I hear what it is saying out loud all the dang time), that in order for a garden to flourish it must be consistently attended to. Consistency.  Sure gardens require love, nourishment, and care.  But none of that is good enough without ensuring that our love, nourishment, and care is consistently provided.  You can’t just water your garden with buckets and buckets of water one day, and then go back a week later when you’re feeling up to it, to re-water and give yo’ garden some love.  No.  Chances are, your plants were drowned by the over saturation and since dehydration from the days and days without water.  Loving our garden consistently requires taking the effort and making the time to water our garden and care for it daily.  Not just when we feel like it.  Each of us is a garden.  Our life is a garden.  Each task we take on (i.e., our careers, for small business owners, our businesses).  We/it/they require love, nourishment, and care.  In order to sustain balance, consistency is required in its most basic form.  Inconsistency and neglect can be damaging.

And even if we do all of the right things, and always are consistent, that sista ho is not going to create an impermeable force field to prevent bugs and animals from intruding.  No, they will still get in.  They will still cause us headaches, and troubles, and unpleasant moments.  It is the same with life.  Just because we may be doing all of the right things, that doesn’t mean that we are never going to have to cross rocky waters.  That are business successes will never take a dip.  That we will never get laid off.

We may not have perfection or constant stability, but we have God, and that completely supersedes perfection.

I guess, my point in sharing this will y’all, is to highlight two things:

  1. The root of life and human nature is really quite simple.  As complex as you or I may sometimes think humans, human nature, and life is, it really isn’t.  It is a dang garden!
  2. Cash step aside. (Just kidding!)  “Consistency is King.”

Oh!  And for all you ladies reading this, make sure to tell your spouses tonight that your on/off nagging and your every so often coming to Jesus talks, yeah those all “happen for a reason” and (you can tell em’) are from time to time the root of your inspiration and freshened perspective on life.  See men – We really do have a reason for everything we do *cue wink face.*

So with that gals, go forward and have a sparklin’ weekend, and happy mama’s day to all you mama’s out there.  Y’all are so loved and appreciated.

Much love –

Be Present

Good afternoon y’all!

If any of you saw my short post, “Busy 🐝,” that I had posted late last night, I just wanted to apologize for my lack of spelling efficiency and the great bunch of grammatical issues that lie within the few strings of sentences that I had posted. (It has since been edited . . .) HA! My inability to miss a day of writing, the promise that I had made to myself weeks back, surely shows y’all my dedication to this online journal, blog, whatever you wanna call it.

Anyways, today I thought I would talk about being present. I was inspired by a Pin that I had saw on Pinterest late last night. The image is super simple in nature, but truly, it had presented to me in such a powerful way. The following image can be found on Pinterest, just click here!

From my previous entries, y’all probably would assume that I am a super optimistic, ever-present individual. Although that is true, this is not my constant reality. For further insight, ask the man that lives with me, my hubby!

Personally, and again, in my opinion, it is nearly impossible to be present in each and every moment, each and every day. We are only human.

Again, don’t get me wrong, most days I am the super free-spirited, carefree, and ever-present girl that I had grown up being. Example: Watching our daughter turn our kitchen into a dairy bar gone wrong as she tries to feed herself frozen yogurt. My husband cringing at the sight of FroYo flying everywhere. I, on the other hand, can be seen laughing in pure delight. Seeing her try new things, seeing her learn/grow, and plain ol’ simple seeing her happy, blocks out any/all worries that may enter my mind. I can tell y’all a million similar stories, but overall, I guess you can just say that I have an eye for finding beauty in the chaos. Simply, thriving in the super raw, messy moments of life.

Now, on the other hand, for some reason the overwhelming feeling, the actual power, that my laundry list of to-do’s has over me is unreal! My daily laundry list of to-do’s, this is what I find to remove me from the present moment. Why? Not sure. I simply just chalk it up to: “It is, what it is.”

Take a moment to reflect on what exactly removes you (at times) from the present moment.

However, it is during these moments, when I begin to feel overwhelmed and frustrated, that I re-center myself and re-focus on the present. The laundry can get done later, if not later, tomorrow. The dishes? Same. Writing? Tonight. If not, adapt. Write while rocking her to sleep.

What I am more or less trying to say here you guys, is that we are human. It is extremely natural to feel overwhelmed. To feel as if we have wasted time in the past, because we weren’t as present as we should or would have liked to have been. Don’t work yourself up over it! Even if you are mindful (like myself) of being present, you are still going to have days where you off on some other island, where you should instead be focusing on the here and now. Don’t beat yourself up. Just be mindful.

Cus’ honey, in the end, that moment ain’t never comin’ back.

Have a wonderful rest of your day loves!

XO, ACD ♡🦋

Busy 🐝

HAPPIEST OF EARTH DAY’S LOVES!

I am literally STRUGGLING so hard to keep my eyes open. BUT. I’ve made a promise to myself, to not miss not even one day of writing, well except Sunday’s of course . . .

So here I am. Here, half asleep, wishing y’all a very happy Earth Day.

Stay consistent (in whatever you do).

And most importantly, do it for you . . .

Tune in tomorrow for my thoughts on being present.

Goodnight y’all ✌🏼

XO, ACD🦋

Thoughts on Gratitude

According to many sources on the World Wide Web, there is an actual science to practicing gratitude.

Gratitude, which essentially means, the quality of being thankful, can (as we know) be expressed in a great variety of ways. However, before we can express it, we must first start by (quite literally) feeling it from within.

It isn’t some complicated science y’all, we just need to become more mindful and receptive to all of the blessings that surround us, that are loaded into each second of each and every day.

In doing so, we must also realize the absolute value of every being in our life. This too, (I believe) is encompassed by gratitude.

We are human. The feeling of gratefulness weans and wanes throughout our days, our lives really. It is completely normal. We aren’t robots programmed to see the beauty in every second of our sometimes super rocky lives.

But, just because we can’t be perfect (at realizing all that we should be grateful for), does not mean we should not or cannot try.

So, I started a gratitude journal. Be sure to click here to read more on gratitude journaling. The following is an article that had been published in UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Magazine. It literally gives you the 411 on gratitude. Check, check it out y’all!

Happy weekend babes!

XO, ACD🦋

Livin’ Simply

I hate missing a bloggin’ day y’all!

If y’all follow my Instagram stories (@thecheekymidwesterner), y’all probably saw that my day was filled with eye doctor visits, Walmart runs (although supporting Walmart, makes me cringe), and various other daily tasks. There truly is, never a dull moment.

Though most of my days are always filled with a million and ten things to do, I can’t say that they aren’t productive, or that I don’t feel incredibly blessed to be able to even get up out of bed each morning and just plain ol’ simple live life out to its fullest each and every day.

The other day however, when we (the entire military base) lost power due to a blown transformer, I was the farthest thing from upset. I, truthfully, love being forced to live a bit more slowly, a bit more simply.

It had been mid-morning when I had come home from my walk to a dark, silent house. Little Miss Brooklyn Meadow had fallen asleep on our morning walk, and I immediately procured a list of maybe five “out of power” things to do.

I had started off by taking a shower in the soft glow produced by a small utility flashlight that we had lying around. I had then applied my makeup in the (super new, Ross find) mirror in my bedroom, the floor-to-ceiling windows allowing for plenty of natural light.

Following getting ready, I had walked into my kitchen. Per the usual, clothes needed folding, dishes needed washing, thank-you cards needed writing. Instead my war journal caught my eye, and I just began to plain n’ simply write. It felt so incredibly good to just simply be in that moment. To just shut off from the world and live.

I truly think and feel that we would benefit from frequent “power downs.” In our fast-paced, technology-based society, dedicating an allotted amount of time out of each day to just power down and enjoy the moment is the perfect neutralizing cocktail for our mind, body, and soul. Our most recent power outrage reminded me of such.

With that y’all, have a blessed weekend!

And for any of you who plan on “powering down” this weekend, please, please, please share your experience with me!

With love –

XO, ACD♡🦋

The Constant Balancing Act

Y’all, I cannot believe that it has been a dang month since I last posted! This is just crazy.

I have so much that I want to say, and I always feel like I never have enough time to dedicate to doing the damn thing. Do y’all ever feel like you have a “goal,” or (if you are like me) a laundry list of tasks to accomplish each day? And rather than get to them all, you literally feel as if you repeat the same daily chores each and every day? Right there with ya sista!

I’ve reached a crossroad, so I either make my list shorter (and feel bad about it), or, I task plan and better organize/prioritize. I choose the latter. How about you?

So, starting today now (even though I am running on 2.5 hours of sleep, thank you teething), I am going to sit and take the necessary 10-minutes out of my day to plan out what exactly is important to me to accomplish today. My first? NAP.

Y’all should do the same!

Much love! Remember, a simple life is a beautiful life.

Xo, 🦋

Stream of Consciousness

Stream of Consciousness

Should I continue reading the new book I purchased? Maybe, wait… Actually, I should write. No, how about I go live on my Facebook wall. UGH. Scroll through Pinterest for hours? Sure. Or, you know what, I should be productive and get ahead on my coursework so that I can spend more time with “Bug” tomorrow.

It’s 11:00 at night.

I always feel so damn busy. It is as if my life has taken the form of a written, paper planner, and instead of scheduling tasks/event by the hour, mine are subconsciously penciled in by the seconds. You don’t have to be a mama or a wife to feel this way. If you are living and breathing, you sure as hell know what I am talkin’ about. Am I right?

I see it with my husband who is in the beginning stages of his flight training. From the moment he wakes in the morning, to the second his head hits the pillow at night, he is flat out. Might I add, sacrificing endlessly for our beautiful little family. If you are reading this, I love you baby.

We constantly make side remarks here and there, commenting on how crazy life has gotten from the moment I said “YES” on November 8, 2016 (the date of our engagement). But, that is a story for another time.

So, tonight as my husband and I ate our frozen cauliflower-crust margarita pizza and pesto-style cellophane noodles at 8:30 at night, I noticed myself feeling super anxious. Why? There was nothing in particular on my mind. I had nothing to worry about. And that is exactly it y’all. You might find comfort in knowing that my mind (and yours), are naturally wired to worry. It means that you are H U M A N. So, when you sit there, and your mind is racing and you start to feel anxious and physically symptomatic, you’re not alone.

I came across the topic of our “wired-to-worry” brains in a Psychology course that I had taken last semester. It served as truly thought-provoking and I haven’t been able to shake it since. It is quite the phenomenon.

So y’all, I am not a Psychologist. Therefore, I am not diagnosing you with a “worried brain.” No, I am just an average wifey and mama giving y’all a bit of nightly inspo (and well-needed affirmation) before we embark on our carefree, comfy-cozy weekend vibes. I’m here to tell you that it is S O normal to worry, to feel anxious, and to not understand why. You are normal. I am normal. We are all normal, and we are all in this together.

So let me tell ya, one thing is for damn sure – I will never complain about being busy ever freaking again.

Do not look towards the destination as a place of solace, peace, and tranquility. Rather, find solace, peace, and tranquility throughout your journey (to your destination).

🦋