HOW PICKING A FIGHT WITH YOUR SPOUSE CAN ACTUALLY BE BENEFICIAL

I had this conversation with Rob a number of weeks back.  Yesterday, out of the clear blue, I had felt completely and utterly compelled to get it out on paper.  Or in this instance, get it out on paper, and then transfer it from paper to keyboard.

How many of you are like me, and prefer the act of physically writing over typing?

Anyways, for starters, I think that it is appropriate that I start off by mentioning to y’all, that I am the πŸ‘‘ of similes and metaphors.  I’m tellin’ ya, I really, really am.

I am going to be super blunt y’all.  The military lifestyle sometimes just ain’t easy.  I do not care how optimistic you are, we all experience weak moments, where we can literally pick apart and list all of the “negatives” of a situation in a half a second flat.  It is just human nature, especially for us gals!

For those of you who do not know, my husband, Rob, is in the midst of his pilot training for the United States Air Force.  So although this is singlehandedly the longest that I have had him consistently home for, realistically we spend most of our days apart.  I however will add, even though he is gone for a majority of each day, I am pretty dang blessed to have him home period.

Anyways, back to my story.  So as many of you can imagine (and I’m sure most of you experience), the stress begins to pile up.  It is inevitable.  A few loads of laundry (thank you Lord for providing me with the clothes necessary to clothe me and my family), a high-energy toddler (thank you Lord for this lil’ mini-me blessing of mine), and the everyday stressors of life will do that to ya.  Y’all get it.

So a few weeks back, in true me fashion, I greeted my husband at the door with a little comin’ to Jesus talk.  You know, those super honest and frank, often unpleasant convos… Especially the ones that you present to your husband, fiancΓ©, boyfriend with, the second that they walk through the door after a long days of work.

I had been frustrated with never getting a break, a true moment to myself to unwind and recharge. In hindsight, it truly wasn’t his fault.  But because I couldn’t take my frustrations out on the inanimate “situation” that was the root of my frustrations, my husband inevitably became my target.  If you’re reading this babe, I am sorry again!

Although I will mention, that this talk certainly brewed for a reason, as it had left me inspired and had offered me a fresh, more positive perspective on life.

To keep it simple y’all, I had equated everything in life to a garden.  Yes, you heard me right, a garden.

I had explained to him (and to myself, because honestly my brain truly has a mind of its own – It literally shocks me when I hear what it is saying out loud all the dang time), that in order for a garden to flourish it must be consistently attended to. Consistency.  Sure gardens require love, nourishment, and care.  But none of that is good enough without ensuring that our love, nourishment, and care is consistently provided.  You can’t just water your garden with buckets and buckets of water one day, and then go back a week later when you’re feeling up to it, to re-water and give yo’ garden some love.  No.  Chances are, your plants were drowned by the over saturation and since dehydration from the days and days without water.  Loving our garden consistently requires taking the effort and making the time to water our garden and care for it daily.  Not just when we feel like it.  Each of us is a garden.  Our life is a garden.  Each task we take on (i.e., our careers, for small business owners, our businesses).  We/it/they require love, nourishment, and care.  In order to sustain balance, consistency is required in its most basic form.  Inconsistency and neglect can be damaging.

And even if we do all of the right things, and always are consistent, that sista ho is not going to create an impermeable force field to prevent bugs and animals from intruding.  No, they will still get in.  They will still cause us headaches, and troubles, and unpleasant moments.  It is the same with life.  Just because we may be doing all of the right things, that doesn’t mean that we are never going to have to cross rocky waters.  That are business successes will never take a dip.  That we will never get laid off.

We may not have perfection or constant stability, but we have God, and that completely supersedes perfection.

I guess, my point in sharing this will y’all, is to highlight two things:

  1. The root of life and human nature is really quite simple.  As complex as you or I may sometimes think humans, human nature, and life is, it really isn’t.  It is a dang garden!
  2. Cash step aside. (Just kidding!)  “Consistency is King.”

Oh!  And for all you ladies reading this, make sure to tell your spouses tonight that your on/off nagging and your every so often coming to Jesus talks, yeah those all “happen for a reason” and (you can tell em’) are from time to time the root of your inspiration and freshened perspective on life.  See men – We really do have a reason for everything we do *cue wink face.*

So with that gals, go forward and have a sparklin’ weekend, and happy mama’s day to all you mama’s out there.  Y’all are so loved and appreciated.

Much love –

Flourless Peanut Butter Banana Oatmeal Cookies

Flourless Peanut Butter Banana Oatmeal Cookies

Recipe courtesy, Running on Real Food

Y’all this recipe is so freakin’ good πŸ™ŒπŸΌ

One bowl. One spatula. Four ingredients. Five minutes prep, 15-minutes bake.

Gluten-free + vegan.

Basically, magic.

For the full-on recipe, and the ins and outs, click here.

Otherwise, y’all can peek below to see the quick n’ easy version. I promise, that once you make these delish cookies once, you’ll never have to reference the recipe again. I swear, it’s like second nature.Β  Like riding a dang bike.

FLOURLESS PEANUT BUTTER BANANA COOKIES

INGREDIENTS:

  • 2 cups quick oats (I used Bob’s Red Mill Old Fashioned Organic Rolled oats);
  • 2 ripe bananas, mashed (I used three organic, medium-sized);
  • 1/2 cup of nut butter of your choice (I used all-natural, organic peanut butter); and lastly, the BEST part hands down,
  • Sprinklin’ of dark chocolate chippies and a dash of pure, organic vanilla extract.

*Next time, I am totally going to add golden, ground milled Flax Seeds

DIRECTIONS:

  • Preheat oven to 350Β°F;
  • Add bananas to mixing bowl, mash;
  • Add the remaining ingredients (I added the chips last) and mix well;
  • Drop spoonfuls of batter onto a pre-greased cookie sheet; and lastly,
  • Bake for 15-minutes until firm and slightly golden brown.

This recipe is honestly perfect for any and all who have a life.Β  Literally a wholesome, nutritious breakfast, snack, or lunch (or all?) on-the-go, without the hassle or mess.Β  You gotta try it y’all β™‘ And if you do, let a sista know what ya think!

P.S.: I store mine in the fridge!

XO, ACD β™‘πŸ¦‹

 

Be Present

Good afternoon y’all!

If any of you saw my short post, “Busy 🐝,” that I had posted late last night, I just wanted to apologize for my lack of spelling efficiency and the great bunch of grammatical issues that lie within the few strings of sentences that I had posted. (It has since been edited . . .) HA! My inability to miss a day of writing, the promise that I had made to myself weeks back, surely shows y’all my dedication to this online journal, blog, whatever you wanna call it.

Anyways, today I thought I would talk about being present. I was inspired by a Pin that I had saw on Pinterest late last night. The image is super simple in nature, but truly, it had presented to me in such a powerful way. The following image can be found on Pinterest, just click here!

From my previous entries, y’all probably would assume that I am a super optimistic, ever-present individual. Although that is true, this is not my constant reality. For further insight, ask the man that lives with me, my hubby!

Personally, and again, in my opinion, it is nearly impossible to be present in each and every moment, each and every day. We are only human.

Again, don’t get me wrong, most days I am the super free-spirited, carefree, and ever-present girl that I had grown up being. Example: Watching our daughter turn our kitchen into a dairy bar gone wrong as she tries to feed herself frozen yogurt. My husband cringing at the sight of FroYo flying everywhere. I, on the other hand, can be seen laughing in pure delight. Seeing her try new things, seeing her learn/grow, and plain ol’ simple seeing her happy, blocks out any/all worries that may enter my mind. I can tell y’all a million similar stories, but overall, I guess you can just say that I have an eye for finding beauty in the chaos. Simply, thriving in the super raw, messy moments of life.

Now, on the other hand, for some reason the overwhelming feeling, the actual power, that my laundry list of to-do’s has over me is unreal! My daily laundry list of to-do’s, this is what I find to remove me from the present moment. Why? Not sure. I simply just chalk it up to: “It is, what it is.”

Take a moment to reflect on what exactly removes you (at times) from the present moment.

However, it is during these moments, when I begin to feel overwhelmed and frustrated, that I re-center myself and re-focus on the present. The laundry can get done later, if not later, tomorrow. The dishes? Same. Writing? Tonight. If not, adapt. Write while rocking her to sleep.

What I am more or less trying to say here you guys, is that we are human. It is extremely natural to feel overwhelmed. To feel as if we have wasted time in the past, because we weren’t as present as we should or would have liked to have been. Don’t work yourself up over it! Even if you are mindful (like myself) of being present, you are still going to have days where you off on some other island, where you should instead be focusing on the here and now. Don’t beat yourself up. Just be mindful.

Cus’ honey, in the end, that moment ain’t never comin’ back.

Have a wonderful rest of your day loves!

XO, ACD β™‘πŸ¦‹